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Released 1977 Directed by Jindřich Polák Starring Petr Kostka Comical Science Fiction genre Synopsis found here

Myskool

I like time-travel. ANY movie gets better with time travel, that is Myskool's first law of cinema. No one's going to argue that Pearl Harbour would not have been a better film if somewhere in the third act, the Americans and Japanese had to unite to fight some high-tech aliens that -GASP- turn out to be HUMANS, just like Soylent Green. Now, my probably disrespectful allusion to the changes to Michael Bay's unforgettable (for all the wrong reasons) film have brought up a second law of cinema that has been past down in my family for generations (...well, one at least); Nazis make the most compelling villains in any movie. I have yet to find an exclusion to this rule and though it has become a cliche, it still rings true. Pop on The Rocketeer and you forget it's a low rent Indiana Jones.

Following The Rules
I just remembered what I was supposed to be writing about, a film that yet again proves my two cinematic rules; Tomorrow I Will Wake Up and Scald Myself with Tea which is such a wonderful title that I refuse to turn it into an acronym. Within the first 2 minutes it is evident that both of these rules will be put on display magnificently. Time Travelling Nazis? Taking anti-aging pills in a very 70s looking 90s? Well, I know I'm in.

 The plot follows one of two twins as he pretends to be the other twin, that unbeknownst to the first twin is complicit in the Nazis time travelling scheme. You see the first twin believes the second twin to live a James Bond style life of luxury and adventure. When in actuality he's a scum bag whose got many affairs going and travels back in time daily for his job. A pilot for a commercial time travelling company which, I'm just sayin' seems like a sort of reckless, casual use of something that could majorly effect the lives of people, especially because it seems seriously understaffed by security.

That doesn't work like that... WHO WROTE THIS??!!

I usually am that jerk that gets annoyed when people point out illogical plot points in fantasy/science fiction movies. The amount of times I've stood up for the end of Superman when he apparently spins the world backwards so it goes back in time so as to save Louis is innumerable. Which as an aside and for the sake of the people who don't already know, is not what happens. Superman actually spins around the earth so quickly that he himself actually travels back in time, I'm not saying that that makes anymore sense, but people get pretty defensive about it. But my point is, when you're watching a movie where a man is wearing red underpants on top of his blue tights, shooting fire from his eyes and flying around with a lady who is internally monologuing some weird shit, why is it such a leap of faith to accept he did something else so unreal. 

The reason I mention this though is that I believe movies should follow the rules that they set (in addition to those two rules I stated in my introduction). For instance when Biff goes back in time to give Young Biff the sports almanac in Back to the Future II he can't go back to the 2015 that he left from because he has created a new timeline altogether. Which, GREAT SCOTT, Doc Brown tells us not 30 minutes after we watch it happen. The same shit happens in this movie where the main character essentially says, after returning from the past, that they have to avoid their past selves (a trope typical in this sort of movie) but later when they come back a second time there should technically be two of him already in attendance but one of them appears to have completely vanished. Maybe I was confused but I think I've got this right, it shouldn't matter but it does bug me. I think that if I were writing a time travel movie I'd make it real tight so that the only conceit is that time travel does in fact exist. Though this shouldn't matter too much as this is a comedic film and so I guess logic has to be put aside for jokes occasionally.

This isn't something that annoyed me but definitely made me inquisitive but why did the time machine have to go into space to work and then land back on the Earth in the past? Someone tell me that one.

The CHF Factor

One thing I feel I haven't addressed explicitly enough is the hilarity of particular moments in this film, if you plan to watch it I especially reccommend watching out for the Chicago couple that get sent back in time on the same commercial vessel as the Nazis and are really enjoying the holiday, making mundane comments and asking to have their photo taken with Hitler. Yes, Shirley and Patrick are the heart and soul of this film.

Furthermore, Tomorrow I'll Wake Up and Scald Myself with Tea is host to one of the finest Cinematic Hitler Freak-outs (CHFs). On the standard scale of CHF, this film's would fit somewhere between Downfall and Inglourious Basterds. It'd probably be equaled to the moment in The Great Dictator when the führer addresses 'the Jewish people' (not the heartwarming speech that everyone remembers at the end, the hilarious one posted below... for posterity).

Meshell

Honestly, I didn't think I could enjoy a film within the genre of comical science fiction - especially one with subtitles - as much as this. This is a Czech time travel romp with it all; Nazis, funk music, space suits, 70's technology and the words 'hydrogen bomb' spoken in Czech. There is nothing funnier that the words 'hydrogen bomb' spoken in Czech. 'Hail Hitler' by a Czech-speaking parrot comes in as a close second. Just watch the intro (below):

Love me some funk, backwards goose-stepping and whatnot.

Lindsay Lohan, Doctor Who and I don't even know who is dead or alive or both

Tomorrow I'll Wake Up and Scald Myself with Tea has one actor playing twins. That's right, it's The fucking Parent Trap well and truly before LiLo's time. At times, it even becomes almost difficult to differentiate between the films. There's matchmaking aplenty, however no ears were pierced or estranged parents of identical twins reunited. Let's just say this is The Parent Trap of European film, so naturally as is always the case in European film, in the absence of nudity there is so much death. Too much death. Too much, very confusing death.

If I've got it right, one twin dies three times, the other twice. One guy is killed by his past self (is this murder or suicide?), another his future self (again, murder or suicide?) and from there I get a little lost. People appear in scenes following the ones in which they've just died in harrowing trampoline rooftop tragedies.

On the topic of death in Tomorrow I'll Wake Up and Scald Myself with Tea, it seems to raise a myriad of time travel questions. I'm no expert, but this film seems to take a leaf out of Doctor Who in David Tennant's time in the way it is 'wibbly wobbly timey wimey.' What I mean is the laws of time travel are relevant as much as they're ignored for the sake of the plot.

'My brother died this morning. He choked on a roll.'

The above quote appears in the film over and over. The actual scene in which Twin 2 chokes on a roll and dies is revisited again and again, all with different outcomes and all beginning with Twin 1 scalding himself with tea. They are all threaded together with a thread from the same cotton spool of what the actual fuck. Always accompanied by inappropriate funk music, sometimes with the liberties of the 70's ideal of future technology, namely a dish soap that acts much like caustic soda times a million. 

I found myself just as confused about the characters' motivations as the many deaths. There are multiple switcheroos (briefcases, identities, love interests) that are hard enough to follow without the multiple timelines. But honestly, who cares. If time travel by Nazis to equip Hitler with a hydrogen bomb is foiled by an identity switch (or several) then I'm all for saving the world with a bit of time trickery (or is it fuckery?).

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, however this freeze frame at the end of the film can be summed up in one; konec (Czech for the end) or two... fuck yeah!

Released 1977 Directed by David Lynch Starring John Nance Fantasy/Horror Genre Synopsis found here

Meshell

Where does one start with Lynch?

Eraserhead is nothing short of sinister. Set in a Chernobyl-esque, gritty industrial scene, Henry (John Nance) is to me an ominous parallel of Charlie Chapman. His distinctively high, fluffy hair (full of secrets?) and pen protector are to him what Charlie's bowler hat and cane. In his movement, Nance delivers a rigid, slapstick performance. He ambles over the industrial wasteland, shoulders curved, feet finding their way into muddy puddles and the like. 

The interaction between characters is perplexing at best. Long, awkward silences are punctuated with bizarre discourse and inappropriate reactions; my favourite being when Mary's mother is questioning Henry on whether or not he had sexual intercourse with her daughter. Henry, pathetically withdraws himself into the corner as Mary's mother nuzzles at his neck.

The true question is, is Eraserhead a heartbreaking work of genius or pure fuckery?

The sound of silence & perfect mismatching

Sound is an extremely important element to the film. It makes the mundane of the film surreal and sheds light on the old hock, 'silence is deafening'. The slow pace, the silence, the jarring drone that seamlessly transitions from insect-like (locusts, scuttling cockroaches) to the hissing radiator, ticking clock, the scrape and scratch of metal on metal, and so on. All the noise represents the lack of noise.

The houses in which Lynch's odd characters share the mundane meets surreal in the sense they are what I imagined Motel rooms decorated in the 50's looked like in the 70's. Practical, functional meets outdated, mismatching and worn to a thread. However, Lynch injects the right measure of 'Lynchian' with particular addition, such as a milky puddle in the centre of a bed for the unfaithful Henry and his neighbour. 

After all, who else could put a mud-pie atop a doily on a night stand, and for it to be the least questionable item in the film? Hats off to the kookiest director in a starched shirt, buttoned to the throat.

The good, the bad and the grotesque

I adore the Lady in the Radiator (I grew up listening to the Pixies' version of 'In Heaven, Everything is Fine').

I found the tiny chicken hilarious.

Same as Mary's mother's reaction. And Mary's coiffed fringe.

But just couldn't move past the grotesqueness of the 'baby'.

No one really knows how Lynch achieved this thing. I understand Lynch's desire to retain an air of mystery, but seriously. I would keep tight-lipped about a fucking mechanically animated horse-foetus-like thing. Precautionary tale of the dangers of premarital sex? Mehbeh.

Myskool

The Aural Industrial
You know you've made it as a filmmaker when you get your own adjective. Lynchian, that is, something that calls to mind or emulates the work of David Lynch, is not used as much as something like Burton-esque but that's probably simply because no one attempts to make anything as batshit insane as Eraserhead.

Eraserhead has been endearing to me since long before I ever saw it. I recall seeing the poster (featuring the image at the top of this post wherein Henry is spotlighted in a cloud of his own... I want to say 'head dust') in a magazine, probably when I was around 12. That was also the age where I first watched Clockwork Orange and Rocky Horror so I don't think my head would have exploded if I saw it. Although, I do believe it would have been right up my alley.

David Lynch starts here with this phenomenal first film. For me the windy pipes, cemented buildings, crumbled ruins, smokestacks and indistinct machinery are the perfect backdrop to this story. The focus on old industry, the fifties-esque conservatism and costume design and the jazz-influenced musique concrete soundtrack make the film timeless in the truest sense of the word. Though 'when is this happening?' is probably the last question on most people's minds. 

[....] another might be "WTF?"

People and machines live harmoniously

I feel connected to this movie, and not just because Meshell reminded me that I looked like Henry every five minutes, the portrayals of the characters, though stylised, feel very real. The overzealousness of Bill, Mary's father, turning to brimstone about the lack of appreciation for plumbers. The naivete of Mary and her change from innocent girl to sullen, embittered mother. The confusion on Henry's face as he stares at a litter of dogs sucking at their mothers teats. 

Nothing can be relied upon in this world. Henry, supposedly fresh from buying groceries, steps in a puddle of mud unsuspectingly. Henry seems surprised at the lack of mail. The elevator takes an uncharacteristically long time to close. There is a message from Mary who he has not spoken to in some time. On and on and on, until Henry is taking scissors to the giblets of his progeny. It's a wild and unexpected ride, but a feast for the senses. Meshell has pretty heavily covered the soundscape but I really want to mention how alive the world feels for such an empty wasteland; everything is smoking, bubbling, splintering or shining. The static shots don't even feel still, there is always noise informing you of other goings on. Even the music feels like effects, there is a great moment when Henry leaves his house and is walking to Mary's. What sounds like car honking begins in the background but gradually becomes part of the chord organ score. 

I recommend Eraserhead to anyone who enjoys:

• Beautiful black and white cinematography.
• Creative use of sound and music.
• People who have little men controlling their nervous system with pulleys that force their mouths to open and spit out visual representations of spermatozoon.